Should Haves

By: Joe Edsall

Last week I had a friends trailer come off my truck. It caused damage to his trailer and the trailer of another driving the other way. I had unknowingly used to small a ball and hadn’t  put safety chains on.  My friends comment caught me off guard,  “You should have known better”

The statement held truth and it made me realize I have lived out of should haves for years.

I “should have” known better than to get in bed with my abuser when I was 7. Should I have known at that age?

This should have has caused me to be overly cautious in some areas and careless in others.

It’s caused me to not risk in business, life, marriage. This should have has been present everywhere.  One affect is to  want to know the outcome before stepping into living.

Seeing this  “should have”  through a different lens doesn’t remove it from my mental vocabulary.  Realizing it is part of me, acknowledging it when its there, and choosing a different way of showing up is what I can do.  I can embrace the “Joe-ness” that is within and live.  More importantly I can show up for others and be open to what happens in being present.

What should haves are in your life? What is it costing you?

Til next week….