You were made in the image of God.
God is an intentional and creative being.
When you open up the scriptures, the first thing you read is “In the beginning God created.” From there, we read of the intentional creative activity of God that is still going on today.
So, because God is an intentional creator, you to are an intentional creator as well. You can’t stop it – it is part of the DNA of your soul! Everything you do and say is an act of great intention. There’s a purpose behind it. Everything you do and say is also creating a future for you and others to live in. If you want to know how you got here in life, you can look back and see a series of decisions, actions or inactions, things said or unsaid, and patterns that created the life you have now.
You are profoundly creative.
You are profoundly intentional.
You also wrote that story of yours with great intention. You are the active author in creating a future that looks, on some level, desirable. Consider that there are multiple perspectives, or ways to tell the story, but you tell your version because you get something out of it.
You may look at your current situation or relationship and say, “There is no way that this looks desirable to me!”
If you are an intentional creator, and you are free to create whatever you want in life, consider that you have an active role in creating your current reality AND that there is a payoff for having it the way it is. There is an incentive to write the story that you are writing it.
For example, if I find myself in a pattern of people constantly betraying me, my story (or they way I see it) might sound something like “well, people are unreliable, untrustworthy and will leave you in the end.” As I said yesterday, this story both serves a purpose, and keeps me from seeing any other possibilities. Even if I meet someone that is reliable, trustworthy and loyal, I will gather evidence to prove otherwise or that person may be rejected due to the suspicion that my story creates.
But why would I want to write that story? What would the payoffs be for it? Well, for one I certainly get to be right about others and myself – they are the bad guy and I am the good guy. It’s also safe and predictable to some degree. I can avoid risk, vulnerability and openness. In other words, I can stay in control.
So the payoffs that make my story desirable are:
- I get to be right about how good I am
- I get to be right about how untrustworthy others are
- There is a level of predictability
- Predictability creates comfort
- It feels safer
- I don’t have to risk
- Getting to be in control
See how intentional I am with my story?
Your story is intentionally created to prove something ‘right’ about you, others and God.
There are also certainly prices I pay and prices others pay for my story. Loneliness, bitterness, resentment, anger, hopelessness, despair and pity are just a few of the prices I pay. With those, Disconnection, rejection, loss of friendship, withholding and pain are just a few of the prices others pay for my story.
Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, creating two columns.
One column, put PAYOFFS, and on the other put PRICES.
Make a list of all the payoffs you get from your story. These are the goodies, incentives or rewards for the story you have written about the relationship, the situation, you, God and others. These must be the desirable things you get from your perspective.
Notice if you are tempted to say, “I don’t get anything from this!” or “but you don’t understand the person I am dealing with!” Just pause and consider what you might be getting out of telling the story they way that you tell it. Also, don’t write down prices disguised as payoffs. If it isn’t desirable, it doesn’t belong in the payoffs chart.
Then write down all the prices that you and others are paying for telling the story the way you tell it. What are you suffering? Who else suffers because of your version of the story?
If you really want to dig deep, make a Payoffs / Prices chart for each villain, hero and even for God.
What are you noticing? What are you feeling in your body as you look at this list? Allow whatever is there to come up and see what is revealed.